The Burnout Cycle: 4 Ways to Slow Down Before You Burn Out
Studies are showing that more people are burnt out today than they were during the pandemic. That’s may sound hard to believe - but then again it isn’t.
Burnout often plays out like a cycle. For high-achievers, women or dual-income families, it can feel like a never-ending cycle. Parenthood can also make the burnout cycle worse or more frequent with working parents trying to be the best at work and manage expectations in parenthood. For millions of people, the pandemic became the straw that broke the camel’s back.
There are so many factors that contribute to burnout. Many of them are out of our day-to-day control … better childcare for families, inflation, job opportunities, career expectations. The list goes on - and can feel overwhelming. It can even make us feel like we can’t get out of the burnout cycle without quitting our jobs or large-scale social changes.
Since the pandemic, this feeling of being stuck in burnout has led millions to find other ways to get out of the cycle, including quitting jobs, hiring more help or looking for some sand to bury your head in. Anything to just “make it go away” or to “get a reset”.
Truth is, leaving a job or choosing the sand option won’t really make the cycle stop. Burnout is a tricky bastard. Sneaky. It wants you to think it went away when you made things less complex, or “easier” - but it doesn’t go away until you change your overall mindset about work (or ALL the other things) and start taking daily steps to keep it in check.
We explore this topic in Episode 3 of our summer series where our host, Marissa Green, shares her story of burning out three times before the age of 40 and what she uncovered as the real reason behind that burnout — putting her whole identity and sense of value into her work, and parenthood.
On the podcast (and below!) we share four tips to help you slow down to stop burn out before it happens! These are simple changes you can make in your daily life - so you can keep your head out of the sand this summer!
Sit still … long enough to notice you’re burning out: Most of the time working parents, especially moms, are moving so fast they miss the signs of burnout. Pushing through causes us to miss the signs of burn out, until our bodies give out. The best way to take note of when you’re “pushing too hard” is to take more time to stop, be still and listen to the buzz inside. When you stop and listen, the buzz is undeniable. Even more, that buzz will start to say “why are you sitting here - there are things to be done!!”. That’s ok. Let the buzz talk - stay still and keep reading to see what to do next.
Talk about it, openly We need to build a language that helps us talk about burnout. Many people say “I’m stressed” or “I’m exhausted”. These are good descriptions - yet they don’t get at the heart of what’s happening in burnout. When you’re feeling burnt out, more sleep isn’t the answer. Even a vacation doesn’t quite fit the bill when you have to come back to all that chose. Try talking with your partner, friends or colleagues about burn out in ways that help you build the right boundaries for what you’re feeling. Some phrases that help us are: “My brain is full, I need to create some space”, “It feels like everything is moving faster than it needs to, I’m going to take a minute to pace the work,” “I don’t need to do this action/activity at 100%, and that’s ok,” or even the scientific version of “My nervous system needs a break.” Having a language can make such a difference. These phrases help us, and our supporters, to know the difference between when we’re having a “bad day” and when we’re on the brink of a melt down. Simply articulating the feelings can also help you have more grace for what is happening and take action faster to put my tools to use to calm things down.
Seek support We’re taught we should be able to handle everything on our own. But the bottom line is WE CAN’T and we shouldn’t have to. Support can come in a variety of ways. It could be drinks with your best friend, an impromptu babysitter, lunch with your mentor, joining a mastermind with a coach or (my personal fave) your therapist on speed dial. You get to decide, but today, try creating a list of 3 people you can call when your brain starts to get full. Write their names on a post-it and then reach out when you need them. Ask them to simply listen, just sit with you or brainstorm what comes next.
Regulate, regulate, regulate We aren’t taught about the connection between our minds, bodies and behaviors in school or at work. We are taught to believe that a plan is enough to conquer all. Instead, our bodies and our nervous systems are actually holding on to everything we have ever thought or felt. Stress, burnout, anxiety, depression - are all held in our bodies. So even if you change your circumstances by choosing a new job or crawling into that sand, if you don’t let go of all that stress in your body, the burnout simply goes into hiding, ready to pounce at the next opportunity. There are a lot of great exercises to do to calm your nervous system. Check out our instagram feed for regular tips and suggestions from the people we follow (@reimagineambition). For now - let’s keep it simple… just breathe. A few times a day, stop the madness. Whatever it is. And breathe 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out. You’ll be shocked at how much this one small act can help you regulate daily.
Burn out has become a way of life for so many working parents - but it doesn’t have to be. You can shift out of burn out, or stop the cycle from reoccurring in every season of life - one step at a time, each day.
